Friday humor...

Being in the financial industry I am talking with clients and the branches I support all day about the economy and the stock market. Good times! One of my collegues sent this to me a couple days ago and I thought I would post it for all to enjoy! I hope you smile at at least one or two... Have a great Friday!


CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer


CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer



BULL MARKET – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius


BEAR MARKET – a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.



VALUE INVESTING – The art of buying low and selling lower.



P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.



BROKER – What my financial planner has made me.



STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.



STOCK ANALYST – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



STOCK SPLIT – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.



MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.



YAHOO – What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.



WINDOWS – What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.



INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.



PROFIT – an archaic word no longer in use.



I was going to change this to Diet Coke or Root Beer but just didn't sound the same so please forgive me!



If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.



If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.



If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.



But---- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.


It's called the 401-Keg.

Friend's new baby, a baptism and homecomings...

Some updates from the end of January and February. On Jan 31st at 2:25am, my dear friend Kim had a darling baby girl named Isabella. I would refer you to her blog but she doesn't have one...yet! So, here is a post I did recently on my cute friends.

Kim's cute family.

Then on Feb 7th our niece Lily was baptized by her dad. Isn't she darling!

I had the opportunity to be the chorister for the big event. I have lost that talent somewhere along the way. I guess the old adage is true... if you don't use it you loose it. I haven't lead music for a LONG time so I guess it is time to brush up on that skill!

Brad's sister Monica lives in the same ward as their parents and so the ward members have a lot of memories of Brad's family growing up. The current Bishop remarked about knowing Lily's mom and aunts growing up and how wonderful they were. He then said "Your uncle Brad on the other hand..." He was one of Brad's scout leaders and proceeded to tell some funny stories about Brad as a youth. By the time he finished, we were all laughing so hard we were in tears. We hear stories about Brad anytime we run into anyone from Brad's home ward and it is interesting to hear all the different perspectives of the same stories. All I can say is "Yep... that's my husband!".

We also attended 2 mission homecomings this month. Brad's cousin Sean came home from serving a mission in Los Angeles, California and my cousin Josh returned from the Indianapolis, Indiana mission. It was so great hearing each of their experiences and to see how much they had grown. They are both handsome boys so if there are any young ladies out there interested in meeting some great guys let me know! I can't believe I forgot to take pictures of them.

I also ran in to a long lost friend at Sean's homecoming that we knew when living in Memphis, TN. Kirstyn and I (along with 10-12 others) attended early morning seminary at 5:30am every morning before school. In order to get a parking spot at our high school, we had to be in the parking lot by 6:30am and school didn't start until 7:15am. I can't believe I did that for 2 YEARS! We would just hang out in the car/van for 45min before school listening to music and chatting. We even skipped school one time by staying in the van - in the parking lot. Really? Yea! Good times!

I also have 2 more good friends having babies within the week hopefully!

Upcoming post on our Jackson Hole snowmobiling trip... stay tuned!

Weekend with friends...

A couple weeks ago I went with some friends in our neighborhood to TOFW in Ogden. I realize I talked about this event when I attended in Long Beach, Las Vegas and San Antonio, but I have to say this was by far the BEST event I have attended! Seriously, the spirit present the entire weekend was incredible. Of course it helped that 3 good friends were participating, so supporting them made it even better! Thanks to Laurel and her team for all the time and prayers that went into this event! We had such a great time! Thanks ladies for a memorable weekend!!

Kris Belcher, Emily Freeman and Hilary Weeks during the event.

The event theme this year is "SWEET ASSURANCE...the certainty that comes from knowing life's truths." Our friend's Emily Freeman and Kris Belcher were presenting at TOFW for the first time and they both did a FABULOUS job! Emily spoke about the miracle of creating abundance in our lives. She gave us 3 principles from the parable of the loaves and fishes and taught us how we can all have abundance in our lives right now. Kris was born with a rare form of eye cancer and spent most of her life blind in one eye. Approximately 5 years ago, the cancer returned and she was forced to choose between loosing her sight to save her life or the possibility of dying. She spoke about the 4 principles of healing and how all of us no matter our circumstances can be healed through the grace of our Savior. Emily is the author of The Ten Virgins, 21 Days Closer to Christ, God Bless Your Way, and most recently Women at the Well. Kris has a new book coming out in March which tells her story - Hard Times in Holy Places. If you want to learn more details for each of these principles you will have to find an event where Emily or Kris are presenting - you will NOT be disappointed!

Hilary performed at the event Friday night and Saturday. I posted about Hilary when I did the CD giveaway back in November and this was by far the BEST performance I have witnessed so far... She continually amazes me with her talent and sense of humor. If you haven't had a chance to see her perform in person YOU MUST! She is traveling to several of the TOFW events this year. Find one in a city near you and go! There are a couple fairly close if you live in UT - there are events in Pocatello & Boise, ID as well as St. George, UT this year.

Here are some pictures from the events.

Kenneth Cope, Wendy Ulrich, Emily Watts and Emily Freeman.

Kim Nelson, Hilary Weeks, Kris Belcher, DeAnne Flynn and Brent Top.

Hilary and Kris

We also heard from S. Michael Wilcox, Ardeth Kapp, Mark Mabry, Jenny Frogley, Abe Mills, Michael McLean, Brad and Debi Wilcox, and Chris Stewart --all fantastic!

Jenny and Abe put on an amazing concert Friday night. You can check out Abe's "Boy band tribute" here. It was very entertaining.

Shelly, Emily, Kris, Josephine, Tasha and Me after the event!

A few memories from the weekend... in no particular order.

• Waiting for our lunch at Wingers, paying for it, leaving to get back to the event and then returning 3 hours later to eat it. (we did get free dessert - can't complain about that)
• Jo yelling at our server to get her brother - I can't even remember what we needed!
• Angela falling - Tasha saying... "I saw you...then you were gone!"
• Umbrella basics - If 3 people are trying to walk under the same umbrella and one is blind then the one that is blind needs to hold on to both of the others' elbows instead of just one.
• Lots of RAIN!
• Listening to "I'll Sing" during each break both days.
• Chocolate covered cinnamon bears - Thanks Shelly!
• Sophie getting us lost and Emily talking to her like a person.
• Tasha trying to find the "correct" parking lot in the fog.
• Kris throwing a pillow at Tasha while she was trying to go to sleep.
• Angela almost running Kris into a pole and Shelly saving her. Sorry Kris!
• Tasha telling Kim Nelson he was svelte.
• Slurpee's and ice cream cookie sandwiches...yum!
• Tasha being our chauffeur - Thanks Tasha! She kept us from getting drenched!

Ladies feel free to correct me on any of the details or add a memory to the list!

Here is actual feedback on the event from a few that attended:

Your experiences~

This was the most amazing experience. I have been to a TOFW event previously, but this was far and away the best one! I have had many many struggles, and it was through this event that I finally feel like I am getting better. Thank you.—Jana


My friend and I went on the 23 and 24! It was so wonderful! I'm so glad I took the opportunity to try something new. Every speaker and music number touched me in some way. I had to hurry home and journal all my notes into complete thoughts. I won't ever forget it, and will make it a tradition. I don't want any of my friends to miss out on this again!—Rebekah


Wonderful time. So inspirational. Great time to listen to great uplifting music and presenters with friends and family. Thank you for coming to Ogden. Hope you come back again. I also helped volunteered and just have to say the TOFW team is awesome to work with. Thank you for the opportunity. —Nicci


Wonderful. There are so many words to describe my day(s) at Time Out for Women. It is an experience that everyone needs to attend. I was on such a spiritual high for the next day... and continue to be. I wish I could go every weekend! Thank you for creating the tour. Until next time!—Melissa


This was my fifth time to attend TOFW and they have all been awesome! Every woman in the church should take the time to attend your events. It is uplifting, fun and a great way to spend a day with your friends, sisters or just any female that you value. I bought my friend a ticket for Christmas and took her. She hugged me and thanked me many times for bringing her with me! THANKS SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS AVAILABLE and keep them coming!!!! —Jan

Definitely something you should try to attend if you are able. It is great to get away from the worries in your life and just focus on YOU! And of course spend some quality time with a few close friends or family!