35 weeks 4 days and counting

Time sure flies when every time you try to use the computer on your lap your hands become numb!  I have tried to sit down to post or really do anything on the laptop and find my fingers and hands getting numb after only a few minutes.  Just another fun side effect of pregnancy I hear :).

There isn't a lot to tell about the babies until this Thursday's Ultrasound.   Since my last update we met with the doctors and decided to schedule a c-section for sometime between 36-37 weeks.  The only date Dr. Sean Esplin was available was July 8th so that is the special day. (Which is also the birthday of another dear friend!) He is one of the perinatologists we have met with at IMC and happens to be the cousin of a dear friend in our ward.  After meeting him a couple times we felt very comfortable with him delivering our babies since my regular OB is not able to deliver at the U hospital.  At first we were hoping for something closer to July 2nd but after discussing Baby B's condition further we all agreed giving both babies another week would make them stronger to fight any aliment that they may face.  Also, July 2nd -5th is holiday time and some of the best doctors at Primary Children's would be on vacation. So we are hoping I don't go into labor on my own before July 6th just in case we need those doctors.

I met with Dr. Esplin yesterday to discuss the day of delivery and what to expect with a c-section as well as what to expect with the babies care after delivery.  He said that Baby A will have a pediatric team in the same room as us to look him over and see if he needs any additional help breathing or if he is ok on his own.  If all is ok we will be able to hold him right in that room.  Then he said Baby B will be handed through the "window" into the care of the neonatal ICU doctors to see what issues he/she will have and we should know within 30-40 min if there were lungs enough to sustain life or if the baby will pass away.  If there are enough lungs developed, then over the fiirst couple days we will find out if the kidney's are slightly damaged and will be ok or if they were severely damaged and the baby will need a transplant.  They will also try to find the blockage to take some pressure off the kidneys as soon as they can.  We meet with a neonatal doctor this Thursday to find out exactly what they will do and how they decide what next steps to take depending on multiple outcomes. We also want to find out how long we can anticipate baby B being in the hospital for each outcome.

As you can imagine, we have experienced many emotions throughout this journey and in the past week we have experienced many more.   The anticipation of this day is finally here, we have a set date for delivery which makes the end more real.  We are so excited (and nervous) to be parents and can't wait to meet these 2 spirits that have been growing inside me the past 9 months but at the same time a bit cautious knowing the outcome of baby B could vary so much.  Brad and I have talked a lot the last few days about what we have experienced so far and what we have learned.  First of all, we have learned we have no control over what happens next, it is all up to our Heavenly Father and His will for us and our family.  Second, we have had good days and bad days, answered prayers  and unanswered prayers, hope and fear, faith and discouragement.  And what we determined from all this, is that without trials we wouldn't learn anything, we wouldn't know or understand our purpose in this life, we wouldn't develop faith or have a reason to strengthen our testimony in our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  Life is definitely a test and how we react to each challenge or trial we face helps determine who we are and helps us to become stronger.  As much as we want life to be easy it wouldn't help us learn and grow.   I feel like I am rambling but I hope this makes sense to at least one person or that our children will look back on this and learn something from our experience.  I know our marriage has been strengthened throughout this experience as well as our testimony of prayer and the power of the priesthood.  Every day we both look at each other and think we couldn't love each other more and then a day later we feel that same way again, as cheesy as that sounds it is true. What a blessing to be married to my best friend and love him more today than I did almost 8 yrs ago on our wedding day, even with each of our faults.

Finally, we are so blessed to have a gracious Heavenly Father who loves both of us and lets us know on a daily basis that He is aware of us and knows what we are experiencing. A caring and inspired home teacher that has, on many occasions, given both Brad and I priesthood blessings when needed.   I am grateful for a loving husband that helps me to be calm when needed, exercises his priesthood when needed, helps me to talk things through, and will also share his feelings so we feel like we are a team walking side by side throughout this journey and not going through this alone.   Family and friends that continue to inspire and support us as the time draws near. We are lucky to have so many wonderful people in our lives and the knowledge of the gospel to remind us we are not alone and that our Heavenly Father's plan is perfect.

We will have the majority of our family there on the 8th - parents, siblings, etc... just in case.  We are still hopeful for a miracle but we have faith that whatever happens is in the best interest of our family. Thanks again for the continued prayers and support... keep them coming!

33 weeks and counting...

I am sorry I haven't updated earlier this week, but life just gets away from me sometimes. I was 33 weeks on Friday June 11th and had our most recent ultrasound that day. More on that in a bit.

1st off after posting from my last non-stress test we found out that baby A's amniotic fluid was high enough not to worry about early delivery. Apparently, the nurse that worked with me on Friday wasn't as familiar with doing a NST for twins and didn't know what to look for exactly. Luckily the original nurse I had the 1st time I went in was there on Tues and Friday this past week and she has 35yrs experience as an OB nurse. She is super nice and always knows what to do so I can get in and out of the appointment quickly. I will continue to go in every Tues and Friday for NST (non-stress tests) until I deliver.

The ultrasound on Friday went well, both babies continue to grow which is a good sign for us since the doctors told us that baby B would most likely have passed away by now or not continue to grow at the same rate as baby A. They still say that the probability that baby B will survive after birth is very low and we are trying to prepare for that outcome but at the same time hoping and praying for our own miracle that he/she will have a different mission to fulfill in this life. Now the stats...

Boy is measuring 32 weeks 3 days
Baby B is measuring 33weeks exactly
Boy weighs 4lb 7 oz
Baby B weighs 4lb 10oz
Boy's heart rate 129 bpm
Baby B heart rate 138 bpm
Boy is in the 38th percentile for growth
Baby B is in the 46th percentile for growth

We also noticed that baby B's left kidney now has more fluid in it than the right one and asked the doctors if we needed to take the babies at 34 weeks rather than wait until after 36 weeks. We are problem solvers and felt that if one kidney was bigger it may help to take the babies earlier so they could hopefully fix baby B's blockage to not have any further damage to the kidneys. They told us that the damage to the kidneys has already happened and taking the babies early will not help that outcome but possibly cause other issues to be present from premature delivery. After talking about different options it was determined that we will try to plan an induction of labor sometime between 36 -37 weeks. They will check with the doctor we have chosen to see what his schedule looks like to get everything planned. We want to plan the labor if possible so that if baby B doesn't survive we can have our family there to meet them before they pass away. We will continue to pray to see if our Heavenly Father has a different plan and if we need to adjust the time table but for now we both felt that I would go into labor prior to 37 weeks on my own thus the plan to schedule delivery just before. Obviously, we understand that I could still go into to labor anytime between now and then but this will at least give us something to work towards.

People always ask "how are you feeling" I have started responding "I feel pregnant!" I think that explains it all... I feel big, uncomfortable, parts of my body that shouldn't hurt do, I have a hard time walking even short distances sometimes but overall feel blessed to have this opportunity to carry these babies. It is such a miracle to be able to feel their movements and know that they will be able to fulfill their individual missions when they are born. There are many that won't have this opportunity and at one time I was one of them, so I know what some of that feels like. So, I am not taking this opportunity for granted. I feel like I am growing a little everyday and am starting to feel both babies more frequently. Even baby B is starting to move his/her head and feet more and I can feel more movement than I have in the past. Our little guy is always moving and sometimes moves so much my belly looks like I have a half of a tennis ball on top of it!

I have had some requests for an updated picture so here are a couple from 33 weeks.

We are as always extremely grateful for the support of our wonderful family and friends! We can feel your love, concern and prayers as we continue this journey. Thank you!

32 weeks and going to labor and delivery?

I had my first 2 NST's (Non-stress tests) last week. The 1st was uneventful, except that because of the Memorial Day holiday, there were many emergencies from Labor and delivery that were taken a head of me (I was the 2nd appt of the day).

The one on Friday was a bit more eventful. (I was 32 weeks on Friday.) Some background for future generations or those that had babies prior to NST's :) . When you go in they want to measure the amniotic fluid in each sac, while doing so they look via ultrasound to see which direction the baby is facing. Then they hook up a monitor on each baby, as well as, a monitor to measure contractions of the uterus. Then they leave me there for 20+ min while the computer charts the heartbeats of both babies for any abnormalities and watch to see how many contractions I may be having. So on Friday, the nurse had a hard time finding any amniotic fluid in either sac to measure. At first I thought it was just hard because of baby B but when she asked the other nurse to come in and try we found that the fluid did seem to be a bit lower in baby A as well. I asked what that meant and they said normally we like to see over 10 but your fluid is measuring 5.7 and typically if you are under 6 we send you to labor and delivery. It was a bit of a shock to hear that baby A's fluid was low now too but they said the doctor would come look and make the decision in a few minutes. Well after 45 min of charting the heart beats they still hadn't come back to check on me. I had overheard some of them saying they couldn't find the doctor which meant I had to wait until they found him/her. Since I am still working, I like to get to work as early as I can or I have to stay later that day so I was getting a bit frustrated. I know I need to work on patience! It also gave me a lot of time to think about all that I didn't have ready for the babies arrival and was I really ready to go to labor and delivery today... no! I was relieved when finally the other doctor came in (Dr. Holmgren) and she took a gander at the babies fluid. She said after looking through that the fluid looked similar to the week before and since the babies heart beats looked strong and I had no contractions yet we should wait to see what the next NST would show Tuesday. I also asked her as we were looking at the babies if she thought baby B's kidneys looked a bit bigger and she agreed they did (even though we didn't measure). I asked her if that changes anything with our plan to wait until 34 weeks to make sure baby A is as far along as possible and she said she doesn't see it as a problem yet and may still want to wait until 36 weeks. She asked when the next ultrasound was and I told her Friday June 11th. She said let's wait until that appointment, see what the kidney's are measuring by then and discuss our options at that time. Ultimately it will be our call as parents but they will give their recommendations next week. After I left I started to wonder about the low fluid and didn't remember them saying anything from the week before so I have lots of questions for my NST appt Tuesday.



Over the weekend I had a lot of time to ponder about my upcoming delivery and what that means for baby B. Am I emotionally ready for the outcome whatever that may be? Can anyone really be "ready"? I am finding myself praying more continually for peace and comfort to know that whatever happens is the plan that our Heavenly Father has always had for baby B and for us. I am very grateful for a loving husband that keeps me grounded when I start to wonder and think to much about all that could happen. I am trying to prepare for the 4 outcomes we know about, realizing that our Heavenly Father could have 10 different outcomes that we are unaware of. I am grateful for dear friends that are willing to share their experiences with the deaths of their babies or health issues to know we are not alone in this journey and whatever happens we too will make it through and along the way learn the lessons we need at this time. There is a lot going through my mind and wish I could express all that I am experiencing. It is amazing how much I can love 2 children I haven't met yet. I can't wait to meet them!

Thanks again to all of you that have been so supportive the past several months! I am especially grateful for a wonderful mother who is willing to step in and help whenever she is asked and even when she is not. As well as a father who supports her leaving him for a day to help me and when asked steps in to help as well. And my brother and father-in-law that have helped Brad finish our playroom and other projects around our home to get it ready for the arrival of our sweet babies.

Thank you thank you!

Garage sale anyone?

This month is really getting away from me! I have been wanting to post pictures from my showers and document those fun moments with friends and family and so I will try over the next few days to get those up here too.

On Saturday Kim, Melissa, Linda and I, went garage sale shopping for Linda's birthday. We had a great time! I wasn't planning to buy very much but ended up finding some great deals on toys for our playroom like an almost new basketball hoop, fire truck, spiderman figurine, stand up play thing for kids learning to stand (not sure the official term) and many more fun items. Linda and Kim also talked me into buying almost 40 articles of clothing from one home that were like new. After washing them and folding them I am VERY grateful they did. They were all boy clothes for varying ages from 3 months - 2T and super cute! I got a great deal on them - I think she had mercy on me after finding out I was pregnant with twins. :)

Here are a couple pictures of all the fun treasures we came home with! This includes all of us not just mine! Thanks gals for a fun morning!

30 weeks and ...

I can't believe I am already 30 weeks today and that these babies could come anytime in the next 6-8 weeks (full term for twins is 38 weeks). I am still working 4 days a week - taking Wed off to relax. I am hoping to make it another 3 -4 weeks but it is getting harder and harder to make the drive to SLC every day in traffic, work 8 hours and return home in traffic again. So we will see how I do. I have had several people tell me I am crazy but I would be more crazy being at home all day doing nothing. I have also had other twin moms tell me that being at 30 weeks with twins is the same as a singleton mom at 9 months. That helped me not feel like too much of a wimp and realize I need to accept more help. They said I should limit my activities and preparations at home in between working and take care of me! I am trying but please keep reminding me. I am pretty stubborn after all. :)

In the past 2 weeks I have started to shuffle, you know like an 80 yr old that can't lift their feet to walk? Cause it hurts! I have also started getting winded walking up a flight of stairs and sometimes even just getting into bed! (We have a high bed) Heartburn and acid reflux are getting worse - good times! And of course sleeping longer than 2 hours at a time at night is rare. I know this is all a part of pregnancy and will only get worse. Just documenting for future generations and myself when I think about getting pregnant again! :)

We also picked up the crib and one of the dressers a couple weeks ago. My cute husband put the crib together and moved the dresser upstairs. The changing table/dresser is on back order and will hopefully be here by mid- June. I have the bedding all washed just need to put in the crib and bassinet. No decorations for the nursery, we will see if I get to that before their arrival! I do have a valance and drapes at least. Brad is working around the clock on our playroom. I know the babies won't need it quite yet but we figure life will be too busy to finish it later. And our nieces/nephews will need a place to play when they come to visit. (They used to play in the nursery room) We have tried to buy diapers and wipes along the way but realize we are still going to need more!

I am starting to gather items for my hospital bag and would love any tips from veteran mothers out there. Thanks to Linda, Mel and Kim for getting this list started for me last week! I have the basics - robe, slippers, socks, journal, scriptures, iPod, pen/notepad, laptop, Lansinoh cream and basic toiletries. I know I have more on my list at home but can't remember all.

Anything else moms??

Another ultrasound appointment...

We had our most recent ultrasound appointment at IMC on Wed afternoon. It is such a blessing with twins to be able to see our babies every 3 weeks moving around, being active, and seeing their individual growth. We will start with the growth stats first, keep in mind the day of the ultrasound I was 29 weeks 5 days and measured 38 cm.

Boy is measuring 29 wks 2 days

Baby B is measuring 30 wks 2 days
Boy weighs 3 lbs 1 oz

Baby B weighs 3 lbs 6 oz
Boy's heart rate 141 bpm

Baby B's heart rate 160 bpm
Boy is in the 50th percentile for growth

Baby B is in the 59th percentile.

We were surprised to see that baby B had outgrown his/her brother. The positives are that baby B is still growing and the heart beat is strong. The kidneys on baby B looked a bit more dilated than the last ultrasound and the bladder looked about the same size. We still have to wait until birth to see the extent of the kidney damage or if the lungs are present, to know the final outcome of our sweet baby B. I can feel baby B at times but with the low amniotic fluid the baby doesn't have very much room to move around. We can tell baby B is a fighter, every time we see her/him on the monitor they are trying to kick and move their arms around in very small quarters.

Our boy is growing steadily, his heart has all 4 chambers, bladder, kidneys etc.. all look good. He jumps around in my belly like a mad man and I can only imagine he will take after his dad! He was head down again this time but I swear just this past week he was doing somersaults in my belly!

We have our next ultrasound in approx 3 weeks and I start going in for stress tests 2 times a week starting the week of June 1st. They will continue to monitor both babies and we hope to make it at least to week 34 before the babies decide to come.

We are continually grateful for all the prayers and support we have received thus far. Much to the surprise of the doctors, we know that it is because of those prayers that baby B is still growing and are convince he/she will live until birth. We have also learned during this journey that we not only need to pray for the end result, but also thanks to a dear friend who has taught me the importance of praying more specifically for what exactly needs to happen, then leave it in the hands of the Lord. At this point we are praying that both babies continue to grow strong and healthy and more specifically for a miracle that baby B's lungs will develop as needed and kidneys will have minimal or no permanent damage. We would love for all of you to join us as well.

Realizations this past week...

I thought I would post some of my fun realizations this week. I am sure many of you can relate!

Hopefully you will smile a little bit!

Within this last week…

• I started getting cankles - you know where it looks like my feet are connected to my calves and no longer to my slender ankles. I miss them! :)
• My feet no longer fit in my shoes - they puff up over the top of my shoes and they look like mushroom tops!
• Brad affectionately told me I started waddling like a duck.
• Realized that finding a comfortable position to sleep in is never happening again.
• At the end of working all day it feels like the babies are going to start coming "out" a little with each step!
• I am SOOOO tired because...finally after trying to find a comfortable position all night I am so worn out by 5am I at last fall to sleep. So when the alarm goes off at 7am I have just barely slept 2 hours.
• This is only going to get worse!
  

However, with all of this I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to finally be a mom and feel very blessed!! Most of all because Brad still thinks I am beautiful! I love it when he rubs my tummy and says "You have a cute preggie belly!" or "You are such a cute pregnant mom!"

Brad has also been an amazing support during the entire pregnancy, with all the bed rest I have been on and limits on activities, he has never complained. He has always been a great help around the house but in the past 7+months he has done most all the cooking, vacuums and sweeps the floor, does the grocery shopping and does all the laundry - while also setting up the nursery, moving furniture around, and finishing the playroom. He is an amazing husband and my best friend! I am truly blessed!

Hope you all have a great day!